Friday, November 18, 2016

Day Four, 2.0: Buffalo (the town, not the animal)

I left Crazy Horse and headed west. There wasn't a lot of mapping regarding the destination; I knew I had another day until my next waypoint, which was Bozeman, Montana. There were multiple stops in between, but for now, I was enjoying the scenery.

It had dwindled late into the afternoon, and I was scouting out places to stay. Soon enough, I found myself in Buffalo, Wyoming, and the sun hung low in the sky. It seemed like as good a place as any to stop. The corolla exited the highway almost on autopilot and I found a campground immediately. It seemed odd that there was a campground in the middle of town, but I'd resigned that there were no rules the further west I got. I went into the office and paid for my camp space, but the day was still young enough that I wanted to explore what Buffalo had to offer. Clearly, of course, there were no actual buffalo in Buffalo. Par for the course, damn it.

The clerk at the campsite told me that I absolutely had to visit the Occidental Hotel and Saloon, just a half mile up the road. The bar was apparently something to behold. With that, I hopped back in the car and found the place. It was nestled in the cutest little downtown I'd seen, just second to my hometown's quaint main drag on the water back east.

Upon walking in, I was quickly greeted by about a thousand taxidermied animals on the wall. Not just the wall; on the eaves, the bar, and the overhangs as well. Elk, jackalope, a catamount, moose, deer, antelope, bear, bobcat, duck... the walls spoke of wild animals past. The bar was a wooden splendor; carefully hand carved spirals, filigree, and intricate details so out of their time in today's modern age. The bar reminded me so of the Raleigh Times on Hargett Street, an antique dinosaur surrounded by a bustling city that still appreciated class and ages past. At the center was a true relic of a cash register, so reminiscent of the antique register at Blount's drugstore on Broad street back home, or ever of an old Underwood typewriter, with the buttons standing up boldly on their individual pegs. Yes, this was my place.



I sat down quietly and ordered a beer from the bartender. The sun was setting outside, and yet due to the dog days of summer, there was still somehow plenty of daylight left in the sky. Drinking quietly, I listened to the inquiries and subsequent history lessons surrounding the Occidental Hotel. The place had been standing for a hundred years or more; the molded tin ceiling still held bullet holes from a massive shoot out in the early 1900s.  The term Occidental is the antonym of "Oriental:" Oriental means eastern, and Occidental means western. The arched stained glass rose light fixture over the register was an original Tiffany, one of two still remaining from 1909. The stained glass did look out of place in a western bar, in all fairness; but once I heard where it came from, its placement seemed perfect.



The bar was more or less empty save one silver haired couple two seats to my left. The bartender recommended I take a quick stroll outside to photograph Crazy Woman Square, which was a quirky spot in the downtown block. I stepped out and was greeted by a horse carriage and a lush green square with a tiny stage for musicians. Upon my reentry, the couple was ready to talk. The gentleman's gray hair matched his beard, and his wife was a pleasant looking lady with short cropped dusky hair. They sat drinking beverages in tiny wine glasses; I inquired as to what their drink of choice was and they told me it was an aperitif dessert wine, so sweet and syrupy that it was meant to only be sipped on in minute increments. They were wearing matching t-shirts, white with "Chigaco" emblazoned across the chest in orange. They were from Canada, and had so thoroughly enjoyed their first road trip through the United States in their camper. We chit chatted about their travels and they questioned me about my journey. They had found the Hotel online and were quite excited about their stay there.

I took a brief stroll about the downstairs lobby. The original barber shop still stood, mostly untouched, with its leather-bound chairs in the center. The room now served as an impromptu bookstore, with historical books about Buffalo and the wild west lining the shelves where straight razors, combs, and shaving cream once sat. The lobby was a sight to behold, a parlor out of its time with claw footed sofas, hand woven rugs, frilly lampshades, and an old-tyme saloon piano against the wall. What a gem I had found!



I returned to my seat at the bar and chatted more with the Canadian couple. Before I knew it, the hour had grown late and they were ready to retire. I was several drinks in at this point, and was not sure what my plans held before me. They bid me goodnight and safe travels, and left. The bartender (who was so very cute, by the way), approached me and informed me that they had slipped him an extra $20 bill and said to make sure to cover my drinks, au gratis.



Moved by their kind gesture, I offered to the bartender that he also use the money to buy a drink for himself. The bar, in all its splendor and grace and tackiness, was ours. He asked where I was staying. I mentioned that I had paid $15 for a campsite across town, and he told me to sit tight.

"So, I spoke with my boss; the rooms usually go for $180 a night here, but rooms unoccupied yield zero dollars, so she agreed to let you a room for $60 if you want to stay. Some money earned on a room is better than none, so if you'd like to stay here you're most welcome to."

If the parlor, bar, and barber shop were any indication of the rooms to be rented, I was most certainly down for a unique and kitschy experience. With that, I laid out my wallet and paid for a room. Each had their own name and theme. I was given a key to the "Hole in the Wall," a single room full of promise and charm.

Room squared away, I ordered a shot; one for me, and one for him. He had dark brown hair, a scruffy beard, soft brown eyes, and a friendly yet laid back demeanor. Of course that meant that I was all about it. I didn't have to always play nice, and while I'm all about safety, I was going to shamelessly flirt with this guy as much as I could because, simply, why not?

We went shot for shot as the night went on. Soon enough the bar had to draw to a close, and it was time to head up to my magical out-west room. He sat at the bar over his last shot and asked if he could take me up to show me my room, which of course I said yes to. I wasn't scared; this wasn't some sketchy house in Iowa, it was a place of business where I could get his name and details if he turned out to be a creep. As it were, he was a ridiculously handsome bartender in Buffalo, Wyoming, and I was, at the moment, all about living for the moment.



He led me up the rickety staircase blanketed in a weather-beaten carpet and we rounded the corner past the antique coal stove to the "Hole in the Wall" room. I entered and was nearly bowled over by the character of the place. Floral wallpaper donned the walls, a wooden antique radio sat on the nightstand, a bedpan and pitcher rested delicately on a table in the corner. The bathroom had a pocket door and therein sat a claw foot bathtub, with perfumed soaps, lotions, and bath powders on the ledge with the Occidental Hotel's emblem on them.

I turned around to comment on how beautiful the room was, and as I did so, he put his hand to my face, gripping it with some combination of fierce and gentle hold, kissing me right against the wall of the doorframe. This didn't phase me. He was soft and kind and affectionate in all the right ways. The evening had landed me here, neglecting my pre-paid camp site and leaving the corolla outside in a dusty parking spot. In one fell swoop, we landed on the bed in the Hole in the Wall, the outlandish floral bedspread giving way to a hot and heavy bit of passion, his hands holding firmly to my face, assertive yet soft kisses pecking at my face and neck.

With some sort of suave that only seems to happen in movies, I found myself disrobed to a certain extent. Then again, he had likewise matched the dress code for the moment. He leaned down to kiss me and a pendant wrapped around his neck dangled on my chest. I grabbed it and pulled him down to lock lips. Upon the release of said smooch, I looked at the necklace I had grabbed. It was a dogtag. A woman's name was on it. Screech the record to a halt.

"Um. Who is Allison?"

"Oh, I mean, um, she's my girlfriend, but she's away so anything goes."

If it were possible to jerk my head backwards so hard that I broke the pillow in half, that about sums up my reaction. "Excuse me?!"

"It's not a big deal, really."

"I bet it would be to her. I think you need to get the fuck out of here," I said, shoving myself to the side.

Enter a thousand excuses, a thousand apologies, a thousand humble attempts to correct the observation I had made.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here." I said.

Once again, I had trusted the honesty of strangers and been sorely disappointed. I kicked myself for thinking I could have an innocently good time with a stranger and not somehow have to feel guilty about it for one thing or another.

He left stumbling over his apologies. Another beautiful moment ruined by dishonesty and an overwhelming dirty feeling.

I don't know who Allison was, and I hope they never married. At any rate, I was going to enjoy the beautiful room and leave Buffalo, Wyoming, never to return. At least I had that freedom. In the morning I awoke to a brilliant bouquet of flowers on the wall, and I took a leisurely bath in the claw foot bathtub. I decided to not let one douche ruin my time in the Occidental Hotel the way I did my time in Fort Dodge; I appreciated the experience for what it was and relished in my encounters with delightful folks such as the couple from Canada. I pocketed the shampoo, bath powder, and lotion from my room and packed my bag, hustling to the corolla with a sense of relief once I sat in the driver's seat. I had to remind myself that I would never be there again, and that it was still an experience that I could look back on fondly.

On some level I wish I had just gone back to the campground. On the other hand, I was happy I had met the people that I did, and that I got to stay where I did. The walk out was a sort of walk of shame as I crept past the lobby, hoping not to see the manager that the bartender had haggled down to $60 a night. Luckily she wasn't there when I laid my parking pass on the counter.

I nearly skid tires as I left Buffalo, headed west once again, shaking the dirt and grossness off of my shoulders in favor of the bright sunrise that kissed my face and wiped away all the grit that this town had placed on my shoulders. I'm glad I ripped him a new asshole. I'm not sad that I found a stellar hotel room. I'm sad that I didn't get the name of the Canadian couple, because I'm 90% sure they would have let me crash their couch if I ever made it up to Alberta. I'm sad I didn't stay for breakfast at the Occidental Hotel. I'm glad I didn't fall for the "my girlfriend is away" schtick. I'm glad I had the horizon to greet me and fill me with promise, and optimism, and excitement. I was so grateful for a new day, a new destination, and a new set of moments to be had on the grand journey that this trip has to offer. On to bigger and better. Tomorrow yields Yellowstone and Beans and old friendships rekindled. Surely there will be no disappointment there with such impeccably wonderful people. It's all up from here.







Sunday, July 31, 2016

Day 4: The New American Way: A Lesson of Heart

I woke up to sunlight peering into the car. It was a brisk morning, but the temperature was already climbing. I deflated Magic Car Bed and showered in the bath house, which was substantially cleaner than the last bath house I had utilized. On the way out of the campsite, I stopped to pick some wildflowers so I could dry them and put them on display upon my return home.

It was early and the roads were empty. Perfect! It was time to head back south, away from Pierre. I had resigned today to be a cliche tourist trap day, and rightfully so; Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and countless other monuments and tributes to the "wild west" were all concentrated in the area I was headed through. Not without taking the scenic route to get there, of course.

The southwest destination involved a rural zig zag through farm country. At first, it was mostly lackluster green and brown, but suddenly in a color burst, I was driving through a golden sea of sunflowers, farther than the horizons could border. I felt like Moses, my little black swath of concrete parting the Red Sea, barely holding back the waves of bobbing and swaying flowers that towered far over my little car. It all felt like a surreal dreamland. The landscape was flat in some areas, and in others it rolled on in graceful hills and valleys. I wondered where all these flowers would end up, in their vases, bouquets, and wreaths.

"Sunflower fields forever..." - No relation to that Beatles "Strawberry" song or anything.


I drove through this golden blanket for what seemed like an eternity, but not once did I grow bored of the view. Who could get bored of an ocean of colorful cheer? As the terrain became more hilly, the road began to cut below the field level, and the sunflowers bid their farewell - at least for now. Something caught my eye on the ridge above the road, and my foot instinctively switched from gas to brake. Was that... an antelope? Really? I'd heard that there were antelope out west, but it must have slipped my mind in my great quest to find a buffalo. I stopped the car and stepped out. I was too far away to be a threat, so he stood boldly, still as stone, gazing down on me. It was almost a look of boring disregard, as if I had interrupted his busy schedule of standing around looking majestic. Welcome to the west, I thought.

Majestic AF.


My first touristy stop of the day was Wall Drug. For my eastern seaboard readers, it's very clearly the "South of the Border of the west." Billboards for hundreds of miles in any directions point travelers to the giant hub, advertising free ice water and ten cent coffee. The pharmacy/general store became famous by using this advertising tactic when Mount Rushmore first opened, as tourists from all over America traveled in droves to see the spectacle. To this day, they still offer free ice cold water and ridiculously cheap coffee. Even on this rural isolated byway, I saw a couple of small handpainted billboards.

Of course I had to go; they advertised a giant dinosaur sculpture and a rideable jackalope! The key to enjoying any kitschy trap is to acknowledge it for what it is - cheesy, hokey features and cheap trinkets. Basically, you know, things that I absolutely love.

'Cause why not? Have  YOU ever ridden a mythical jackalope?

Free.99 is my favorite price. 


I entered the maze of buildings and was greeted by a live instrument honky tonk jukebox. Put in a dollar, pick a modern or classic tune, and dozens of wires and hooks and hammers pluck out your song on banjo, accordion, guitar, and drums. I stopped in a few gift shops, then headed to the courtyard. There I found the ice water fountain, as well as my giant jackalope and a multitude of statues giving tribute to the famous names of the "wild west." A giant mural said, "welcome to the Black Hills," and I thought of my favorite Beatles song, "Rocky Raccoon," imagining my mother, uncle, and all of their friends, sitting around in my grandmother's living room in the 1970's singing the song by guitar. What I wouldn't give to have been a fly on the wall for one of those nights.

Honky tonk wizardry.


On my way back through to the car, I spotted the "tiniest church in the west," nestled in between two gift shops. I walked in and was greeted by a single row of pews, an empty pulpit, and an open bible. Never one to shy away from the opportunity for a quiet moment, I sat down on one of the benches for a few minutes. The dim light in the chapel was soothing. It seemed like I had already seen and done so much, and I had only hit day five. I'd already encountered so many challenges, lessons, and inspirations, and it only made me more excited for everything coming up next. Life is only as boring as you allow it to be, and its excitement and wonder knows no limits if you're willing to look at the world with bright eyes and an open mind.

Religious affiliation not required. 


I hightailed it out of Wall Drug and headed west. Next up was Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse. It was an uneventful drive to get there, but when I got to Rushmore, I took one look at the admission fee and decided I'd do just fine to view the stone faces from afar. Besides, Crazy Horse was a lot more interesting to me. These two monuments are kind of near each other, but when in the mountains, miles don't equal minutes, so even though they are 20 miles from each other, it was at least a 45 minute drive. I was miffed that I'd added the extra driving, but when you're 2000 miles from home, you have to realize that the odds of "just passing by" one of these two monuments again is highly unlikely. Better to see both than to wonder if I'd missed out choosing one over the other.

To preface my visit to Crazy Horse, a bit of backstory is due. The monument has been a work in progress since 1948, funded by the Lakota Tribe, which he was a member of. When completed, it will be the largest statue on earth. The U.S. Government offered to assist in financing the production, but due to, well, the less than favorable history that the Native Americans have had with the U.S. Government, they politely declined any intervention and elected to craft and create it independently. The sculpture is so massive that it's projected to be finished in 2150. Yes, you read that correctly: it's going to take 200 years to finish. It's that big.

I was excited to see the monument, even though only his face and a very rough outline had been completed in the sixty plus years since groundbreaking. At the base of the mountain sat a Native American History museum, which was included as part of admission to the park. Proceeds go directly to funding excavation and construction.

Holy geez.
The road into the park led directly up to the monument, and when I first saw it, the sheer size was staggering. It's difficult to adequately convey in words or photos just how truly massive this structure is. There was a tiny hollow spot under his face (which will be the gap between his arm and his horse's mane), and that alone was tall enough for a double decker bus to drive through. I felt like an ant. It was awe-inspiring that humans could make such a mammoth thing.

Those railings are as tall as a person. Let that sink in. 


I entered the museum and explored the artifacts and photos on display. From room to room, a sense of unease arose, at first coming on as a small knot somewhere in my gut, gradually growing into a fuzzy pit that rippled goosebumps across my arms. It's hard to pinpoint what exactly I was feeling. Guilt. Sadness. Shame. A culture and a nation robbed, raped, and run off their own land. By people like me. No, a modern 2013 Jamie would never consciously hurt anyone, but my people sure did. I wondered what the purpose of guilt was. It's a sensation I fight with on almost a daily basis in one way or another for a myriad of reasons, but specifically here, what good does guilt do, some 150 years later?

Individually hand beaded ceremonial dress


Well, it certainly won't do a damn thing to erase, correct, or undo injustices past. It's not like I could go up to one of the museum curators and say, "I'm sorry for how my people treated your people," and a magic wand would give them back their land or their way of living. What guilt can do, however, is serve as a driving force to always strive to learn. To acknowledge the past, even if it makes us uncomfortable or it isn't pretty to look at. To be better than those before us. To try to make sure the next generation is even better than that. To educate yourself in the ways of others, and to celebrate and respect the cultures of those different from you. To first, do no harm. To be kind. That is basic human decency and civility. It's not something that we should pat ourselves on the back for, either. It should be a trait that is standard issue in every person; a trait that is expected as a fundamental aspect of how we see the world and the people in it.  That's the America that I want, and that's the America that we all see potential to be.

"A very great vision is needed, and the man who has it must follow it as the eagle seeks the deepest blue of the sky." - Crazy Horse
The Crazy Horse Memorial may have only earned $30 or so from me to help in its progress, but I took away a perspective and outlook from it that feels priceless. Fast forward to 2016. The world is still facing all manner of social, civil, racial, and cultural turmoil and intolerance. If history is good for anything, let us use it as not just a lesson in what could have been done differently, but also what can and should be done differently in our day to day in the present. Mankind is evolving; let our minds, eyes, and hearts evolve with it.

"My land is where my people lay buried." - Crazy Horse

*Author's note: To donate to the creation of this memorial, please visit https://crazyhorsememorial.org/

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Day 3 Continued: Trains and Plains and Sioux Falls...

I left the Grotto after stopping by the gift shop for a couple of trinkets, including a postcard for my mother. I wrote a sweet note on it and swung by the post office. I had a bought a book of postcard stamps just for sending family and friends mail throughout the trip, but this was the first one.

"I wish you could be here with me to feel the peace and calmness of heart that I do now. See you soon. XO"

I sidled the corolla up to the blue drop box and it slid into the spout. I noticed that there was no clunk when it fell, and peered into the box. It was filled to the brim with letters and postcards, a pretty impressive feat for a tiny town. I wondered if the post office it was next to had gone defunct. I didn't see anybody inside, nor parked out front, come to think of it. No way to get the card back now. Oh well. I guess I was truly meant to experience the Grotto alone, which seemed to be par for the course with most poignant moments in my travels.

I hightailed it out of the oasis that was West Bend back into the desolate Iowa highway. I was pleased to see that the sunny weather held up for the rest of the morning as I tore through the endless sea of wheat. I headed northwest, eventually making it to Minnesota. I rolled through the downtown of a tiny, out of the way town and stopped to stretch my legs. There was a coffee shop just across the street. This town was just another isolated small community, but I think I felt compelled to stop because it reminded me of my hometown. I walked into the shop and inhaled the fresh scent of roasted beans. An antique cash register sat on the counter and next to it, a glass pie stand with a luscious homemade apple pie in it, slices priced at $2.50. The register reminded me for the world of the ancient teller machine at Blount's drug store downtown back home, where my sister slung sodas and shakes in high school. I always went there for hand-mixed vanilla Cokes--with extra vanilla, of course, in my youth.  In a moment of financial preservation, I opted not to get the pie. To this day, I regret that decision. As I passed through the southwest corner of Minnesota, I took in the landscape in deep gulps, the sun in my face and puffy, crisp clouds framing the scene.

Not too shabby.


Along my way, I saw curiosities that fascinated me. I passed an abandoned, rusted out train that sat decomposing quietly along the side of the highway. The rusty decay was crawling its way from top to bottom of the cars, the faded blue paint at the berth giving way to a green-yellow middle, gracefully blending into a ruddy orange on the roof. I wondered how many passengers rode on it over the years, headed to some new adventure on the rails. I wondered how it must have been when smartly dressed porters manned it as passengers gazed out the windows, back when it was shiny and new, and how it must have looked when it roared through the open plains and mountains. I wondered how long it was used before being unceremoniously dumped along the side of a desolate rural road.

Further down the road, I saw a drive in movie theater completely in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by crops as far as the eye could see. I've never been to one, and seeing as they're becoming a bit of a rarity, I was of course enamored by it. I've always wanted to sit under the stars and watch a film, nipping bourbon from a smuggled flask on a blanket in the evening air.

When I hit South Dakota, it was time to get back on the interstate. I hopped on to fast track through some of the miles to keep me on schedule. It's a necessary sacrifice when one travels like I do. I enjoy the small towns, the funky attractions, and the unusual destinations. However, two weeks of driving on secondary roads and scenic byways won't allow you to get as far. So I ride the middle, picking out interesting attractions and fast tracking some parts of the trip to allow me to linger in others.

I approached Sioux Falls and felt the need to refuel both myself and the car. I exited the highway and found an enormous Flying J complex. I parked the car and walked in. There was a Denny's connected to it. Normally, I like eating at places I can't find back home, but at this particular moment, if you had tried to get in between me and a ham cheddar melt, I'd have cut you five ways-- and then proceeded to eat that melt over your corpse.

I sat down in a booth by the window, quickly served by a heavyset brunette waitress with a thick, endearing midwestern accent. As a southerner, not only do I not notice my accent (which I have been told is surprisingly subtle), but I rarely encounter great dialects outside of our native tongue. I find most accents to be interesting and charming, especially those found away from the east coast. I looked across the dining room and saw a large group of people eating a hearty meal.

My lunch arrived and I inhaled half of the giant melt. I looked across the diner and saw a picture on the wall of a buffalo and laughed to myself, remembering the discussion I had with my friends back home about seeing a buffalo in the wild. I'd become mildly obsessed with seeing them, especially after hearing tales from a friend who had lived there very briefly and regaled me with tales of them causing traffic jams. For some reason, they seemed to be delightful and beautiful creatures. I hadn't seen one yet, and was rather disheartened about it. Today would be my day.

Amused at my own silliness, I got the other half of my sandwich to go and pulled my car up to the gas pump. As I refueled, I looked at the pickup truck in front of me at the pump ahead. In the bed was an assortment of what looked to be Native American ceremonial items: drums, feather wands, and even a large ceremonial headdress. I thought about the items as I fueled, wondering if these were for private events or for some sort of entertainment value. I always feel a pang of guilt when people's culture is turned into a sideshow, which was rampant in the rest stops and attractions I'd passed so far.

Dismissing the thought, I hopped in the car. While waiting for the GPS to boot up, three men exited the gas station, walking towards the pump I was at. I recognized them from the large table in Denny's. As I watched in the rearview, they they split up as they approached our vehicles. Two of them walked slowly on either side, the third on the right leaning sideways against the Corolla, pausing to stare in my window at my belongings, and then at me. One on the left hovered by my driver side door. The scrape of his jeans on paint crashed against my ears as he slid slowly on the side of the car.

Are these assholes seriously pulling this mess in broad daylight, in a busy gas station? I thought. Still, concern and anxiety began to tingle in my gut. South Dakota was a very, very long way from home.

I pretended to be calm and looked up to the rearview mirror. The third man was standing directly behind my car, now preventing me from being able to move it. He rocked his weight forward, bumping the corolla with his hips. Enter panic mode. I had three intense, unpleasant looking guys flanking my car and a pickup blocking my front. I reached my left hand to my hip, slowly and deliberately pulling my knife out of my pocket. He bumped my car again, this time leaving all his weight pressed against the bumper and trunk, the corolla budging forward on its shocks gently. He locked eyes with me, and a slow grin crept across his face.

I didn't drive all this way to get the wits scared out of me in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, in broad daylight, did I? Fuck this, I thought. They'll move, or I'll fucking move them. 

I locked eyes with the one making love to my bumper and angrily shoved the gear shift in reverse, the car shuddering in a simultaneously subtle and aggressive click. He remained unmoved. All right, let's play chicken then, I thought. I eased delicately off the clutch. The car began to roll, pushing him with it. Needless to say, their fun was over as they threw in the towel and he moved, but I was thoroughly shaken. Their eyes followed me all the way from the pump to the road. I nervously lit a cigarette, trying to quiet my jitters. Well, Sioux Falls can go right to hell, I thought.

The day was nowhere over though. There were miles to cross still. So I kept driving. Sketchy dudes be damned.

By this point I was making good time on the interstate. I was headed for another "offbeat attraction" called Porter Sculpture Park. It was listed as being in Montrose, South Dakota. It was described as being a large field full of big sculptures that had been hand welded and constructed by a single man in his free time. The photos I saw online looked colorful and whimsical.

I was getting close to the general vicinity and wondered how I would find this place, considering it didn't have an actual address on the website I saw. Then I saw it, rising slowly on the horizon: a hulking, massive bull head bigger than a house. Yep, this must be the place. I exited the interstate and hooked a left. There was a long dirt road to get to the park. The sign said "Welcome to Porter Sculpture Park. Things to bring: 1. Leash (for pets or significant others) 2. Camera (not responsible for bad photos)." I crawled the car up the grass road and around the bend to where a small RV and an open shipping container sat. I parked the car and got out to to stretch. There was stiff, refreshing breeze on that hilltop with white, billowing clouds unfolding higher and higher into the brilliant blue canopy above me. To my distant left rolled the cars on the interstate, their droning engines inaudible between the distance and the wind that swirled around me. The tall, unmowed grass bowed to its force gracefully. To my right, rolling expansive plains of what appeared to be wheat, cresting and falling in tides just as the ocean does on a bright, balmy summer day at Kill Devil Hills.

I stood for a moment at this great ocean and inhaled deeply, savoring the late summer heat. It was then that I took note of the shipping container before me-- or more importantly, I saw who was taking note of me. A man sat inside, shielded from the overbearing sun, quietly waiting for my peaceful moment to come to a close. I walked to where he sat and bid him hello.

His face was a mix of leather brown and flushed pink, the cracks and lines on his face etched deeply into his forehead and the corners of his eyes. His hair was short, but shaggy, a straw-colored yellow that only comes from long hours spent baking in the hot sun. He appeared older than he was, prematurely aged by harsh elements and, from the look of it, a possible long term relationship with the bottle. He sat patiently, if not slightly awkward in his gaze.

He greeted me and explained that he was the creator of this place. He loved sculpting by means of welding, and would put together his works one at a time with painstaking labor, then assemble them at the sculpture park for long term installment.

He was undoubtedly a strange fellow. His demeanor, tone of voice, and posture gave me the impression that social interaction might not be his forte, but he was kind and honest in his representation of his artistic vision. His words sort of hung in the air, attempts at humor that fell short, resulting in forced laughter and a slight unease.

I paid the modest admission fee to the park and was given the keys to a golf cart. Reserved for the disabled or elderly, he explained, but since it was a slow day I could use one as VIP since the park was empty.

Now let me clarify it's called a sculpture park, but not in the conventional means that we think of parks go be. It was more a scattered, yet carefully placed assortment of massive metal structures laid surrealy onto a grassy hill-- no sidewalks or fences, just a beaten grass path linking between each piece like a larger than life connect the dots.



I began my golf cart ride peacefully enough, rolling up to some large goldfish that fit perfectly against the backdrop of the grassy ocean behind them. Shortly after, an eighteen foot tall sculpture lay out the abstract frame of a goldfish bowl, contrast perfectly against the rich hues of an almost cerulean sky behind it, the fight within seeming completely at home in their blue enclosure.

Human for scale. 


As I went on, the statues became a bit less idyllic and more interpretive. I encountered a statue of a man painted completely black with one hand on his head, as if in shock. His eyes were white circles with his jaw dropped completely to his belly. White, disturbing teeth outlined as a macabre, gaping maw.

I know that feel, bro. 


Further ahead, in a tangle of old bicycle parts, helmets, and haphazard metal scraps, lay the metal skeleton of a dragon, with a sword piercing the ribcage, buried deep in his heart. The grass was deliberately unmowed at this statue, crawling between the metal ribs, protruding gently out of the orbital sockets as an unwanted visitor that represented the lapse of great time, illustrating a forgotten victory of an epic battle.

I rounded a corner to see two large red robed figures with the ghostly absence of faces looking penitently down at the ground, the space where their features would be completely shrouded in black. These statues were becoming a bit disturbing.

I was getting closer to the giant, overbearing metal bull head. As I approached, I came to skeletal figures, half man half goat, standing watch in corners around the bust. Each stood in a different stance, once with a staff held out dominant, the other with his hands falling limp-- metal bike spokes and gears serving as weapons, a battering axe in hand, human body with a metal goat skull for a face. They were intimidating. They reminded me of so of Jason and the Argonauts, an old-time film I saw in my tender years, as skeletons rose from the ground bearing swords in a chilling and horrific battle. Well, at least, to me, at my impressionable and innocent age of youth, they seemed absolutely terrifying.

The Guardian


There he sat, at the edge of the park, the other statues out of view from the angle at which I sat in my golf cart fortress. This massive, overwhelming bust of a slowly rusting giant bull. There stood a plaque before it commenting on its origin, noting that it was a testament to the gods worshipped of old. It noted also, "bats are known to inhabit the inside of the sculpture. Please don't disturb the bats." It beckoned visitors to enter the back of the skull to look inside. As previously mentioned, the head was the size of one of the faces on Mount Rushmore. As a landmark I hadn't yet seen, this was a foreign size comparison to me. As it stood, the sculpture was impossibly huge, made completely out of railroad plates - the large, flat pieces that railroad ties are clamped to at the base where the rails meet the wooden planks. How could that little man, brown and pink and blonde and leathery, make such an amazingly huge monument?



I hopped out of the golf cart and approached, the grass whipping at my exposed feet. The wind was pulling me forward. I stepped to the back of the mammoth sculpture and looked at the rusty opening. The entrance seemed to be as tall as two of me. I stepped in, the breeze whirling into a vortex of sounds and gusts around me as I moved into the head of the giant ungulate. The rising dome around me engulfed my presence as I stood beneath the hulking creation, amazed at the fact that this was all painstakingly built by hand. The sculpture towered around me-- at a distance, resembling a heap of rust, but on closer inspection, it was a carefully constructed masterpiece and a hand made labor of love.

I looked to the right of me above. There, nestled to the wall on the inside of the bull, were various clusters of iron bats, clearly molten parts poured into a mold and made into the shapes of cave-dwelling creatures. There were a handful of these clusters surrounding me inside the cavernous beast.

It was mildly unsettling as I looked at them, remembering the warning of bats in the sculpture. Were they butterflies that the sign warned of, it would be whimsical. At the same time, I remembered the awkward sense of humor the creator had, and felt like it was par for the course that he would make a joke that didn't quite hit home. He probably thought that warning about "bats" was hilarious, but to the casual bystander that didn't quite get pop art, we may think it was a bit odd. Nevertheless, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

At this point it should be mentioned that I missed something ominous in this sculpture's belly. Amongst the beams suspended for support, pressed back and hanging from between what would be the inside of the eyes of the bull, a figure of a man lay hanged in a crucified style. His rusty iron body was spread as if on The Rack, tiny horns of The Beast subtly budding from his head. His face flared back at me as I gawked, a jigsaw smile on his face that resembled a jack-o-lantern.

I stared, enraptured by this crucified demon. Again with the demons. He seemed to stare back at me, his eerie grin piercing through my core and finding nothingness behind it, an unsatisfied observer. The wind inside the beast curled around my face in a vortex that chilled me to my bones. I had barely escaped one demon facing off to me this morning; I wasn't prepared to deal with another so soon. The silence was deafening around me. This iron shroud was more of a tomb than anything else.

The light from the bare sun pierced harshly through the holes of the railroad ties, giving a filtered view of the interior of the bull. The dust and dirt and grass mad a brilliant show midair, captured brilliantly by each beam of light that peered through the statue. It resembled, at times, smoke whirling about in an empty room.

Me? I lay stuck in a staring contest with the hanging demon. He seemed to mock me from his rusty throne.

The beauty of not being currently suspended from an iron edifice is that, when confronted with a demon (who seems to see through you and be judging you for every bad decision) is that you have the freedom to walk away. I did just that.

Axe wound to skull added for accent, I imagine. 


As I left the iron bull, I was blasted in the face with a harsh breeze. Never that matter; the sun shone on my face with radiance and warmth once more. It was all I could hope for in that moment.

I perused the remaining sculptures with a slight unease, but quickly felt refreshed. It had been a wildly productive day as far as mileage and events, rich in symbolism and introspect. The golf cart steered back to its parking spot at the metal building and I thanked the gentleman for his time, as well as for creating such a lovely place. He offered a handful of candies that were sitting by the cash box and with that, the 'Rolla headed back on the road.

I stayed on the interstate briefly, but my next waypoint was Pierre, South Dakota. Once you leave the southeast corner of the U.S., the road systems do a magical thing: they start to make sense. There's this incredible thing called a grid, and the streets and highways follow this design almost to a fault in Middle America. Even if you have never been there before, you can kind of figure out where you're going based on a simple understanding of "x blocks up and y blocks over." The highways are similar. The only drawback to that is that one often has to zig-zag across a state to get somewhere specific, as was the case with Pierre. It sat a few hours north of the main interstate, so I had to drive so many miles due west and then take a perpendicular highway north.

It was no bother. I turned onto the highway and set my course for north, admiring the open and spacious layout of this road. Four lanes with a graciously wide median between the southbound lanes set the stage, with a golden-green blanket of grass to fill the space in between. This was the opportunity to make up for lost time, flying through the landscape at 75 mph. The terrain was slightly hilly, with the road cutting through the path of least resistance, rolling hills swelling up gracefully on either side. There was little of note on the sides of the road other than sun-toasted grass, but about an hour into my drive there were some animals off in the distance that looked like deer. When the car got closer, I realized they were horses, untamed by any fences, buildings, or rails along the road for miles. I smiled at these wild ponies as they grazed, passing peacefully from a safe distance.

Hope you fueled up. 


My approach to Pierre, South Dakota, came as the sun dragged low in the sky. Upon looking into campsites, I found the Farm Island recreational grounds on my phone. There was but one must-visit place in this city, but first, lodging had to be acquired. As I pulled off to the access road where the camp was, I paused to look at the sunset. The car was perched atop a perfectly straight railroad track, and where the two lines converged on the horizon, the sun rested just barely off center.

Once the fees for the site were paid, I scanned the campsites and picked a spot that backed directly up to the small lake at the center of the grounds. This one had 100% less geese than the last, which was a relief. With housing arranged, I headed to town. Firstly, the name of the town is spelled Pierre, but is pronounced the way one would say "pier," as in "I went to the fishing pier." I didn't want to sound like a blatant tourist, so this information was helpful. It was a town highly recommended to me by a friend that lived there briefly. Countless hours were spent drinking cold beers and dancing at the Long Branch, Pierre's watering hole.

The town was quiet and still as the sun peeked over the horizon. I pulled up to the bar and stepped inside, the dark carpeting and wooden walls greeting me sleepily. The whole place was practically empty, but judging by the number of tables and chairs as well as the length of the long, square bar, it was safe to assume that it was probably pretty hopping on a weekend night. I took a seat at the bar and ordered a PBR, perusing the menu. I ordered a sandwich and browsed about the room, surveying the men playing slots in the back corner of the bar.

After a quiet dinner, I headed back to Farm Island and settled into my campsite, inflating magic car bed and settling in with my things. The weather was much less oppressive than other stops so far, and I had the next few sites vacant next to me, which was a nice change in the privacy department. I kicked off the shoes and toed into the quiet, calm water of the lake and thought about the day as the last light lingered in the sky. There was a light breeze, bringing in unfamiliar, earthy scents to my nose. How strange to be so far from anyone I knew. A quiet peace filled my ears in the absence of noise. I felt alone, but I was anything but lonely as I inhaled the sunset.

Today had been one for contemplation and introspect. I kept thinking back to the Grotto, to the Sculpture Park, the open fields, and all the other beautiful, brilliant sights of the day and wondered what the universe was trying to tell me. Perhaps nothing. Perhaps these were messages I was gleaning from my own subconscious. Life certainly had been tumultuous as of late, and trying to sort out ones thoughts and emotions or find direction while dealing with the day to day routine is about as effective as trying to catch a breeze on a sailboat with a screen door. Sometimes you have to step outside both your safety net and your zip code to see things clearly. Upon looking at my life from the safety and distance of South Dakota, I realized I had a lot of demons to conquer, but it was a challenge that, at least at this moment, I felt that I was finally up for.

This image brought to you by South Dakota and the Anti-Goose Poop Coalition.

P.S. Still no buffalo sightings.
P.S.S. The damned check engine light was still on.